You may have already heard the word “alpha male” and maybe its counterpart “beta male”?

It basically comes from observation of animals such as chimps and their behavior in a society.

It has been since applied to human behavior by a lot of different community.

You wouldn’t believe the insane amount of content you can find online about this subject.

It’s also a lucrative business that exploits non-confident men to pay good money to learn how to seduce, and generally be more alpha and less beta.

I’m really interested in the concept. How something that’s come from the ages of human evolution is still driving people’s behavior today?

But first let’s look at the actual definition of an alpha:

In studies of social animals, the highest ranking individual is sometimes designated as the alpha. Males, females, or both, can be alphas, depending on the species.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The first interesting thing here is that an alpha can be a male or a female.

Surprisingly though, 99% of the content around the subject relates to “male” domination.

Good luck finding a community of alpha women, or books, or courses on how to become one.

The second thing is that most of the content about alpha male today comes from a seduction-related community or blog where male readers are being told that society is killing our true nature making us more beta, and that we need to fight it for dominance.

And dominance over what you may think? Well, women. Yup, women and other men, like good chimps.

Reading content in those communities you will soon see that we (males) are driven by our genes and that our main purpose in life is reproduction.

Spreading our seeds as much as possible with as many young women as possible cause you know, according to some of those communities – after 25 it’s too late to have kids for a woman, even 20 is so so…

Back in the day

Photo by Laura Fuhrman on Unsplash

Darwin kinda explained it really good with its natural selection theory. Compete, survive, and reproduce.

With a short life span and limited resources it made sense at the time.

But agriculture came and everything has changed!

It’s not the strongest male, or the one with the biggest wooden stick, then the axe or sword that wins in life, but the one with the largest field!

A shift for dominance has happened, and alpha male lost the battle.

Too busy killing other dudes and fucking, I mean, raping women around, they didn’t pay attention to the smart ones who where building corn empires.

Sure they got babies all around. Good spreading rate, but what for? Living a crappy life of a constant fight only to fuck women which wealthy beta dudes would get just because they are wealthy?

And in 2020?

Well, when I read the alpha male literature I would say nothing has changed at all, but it may be my perception of it.

First, look at men in power! Trump, Jack Dorsey, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, Google, and pretty much every massive company that controls our world. Do those guys look like alpha males to you?

I don’t think so. But I’m sure that if you look at their security details, those guys definitely look like alpha males!

Everything seems to be like it was before. Betas still rule over alphas no matter what the latter think, just look around!

And it will never change because this is who we are. Very social species with crazy complex communication behaviors, and we love it. We are not chimps anymore!

Are alpha males/female gonna disappear?

Picture by Pixabay

I don’t think they will because eventho we may become smarter, we are still big violent chimps.

You will always find more violent human being willing to stomp over others, fight, rape, take, conquer etc.. It is a part of what we call the “human nature”.

And as there will always be wars to fight, there will always be room for those guys.

I’m passionate about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu which is a good part of any MMA fighter skill set. I have been training for like 7 years now, and before that I had been doing Krav Maga and Judo.

My point is that I train a LOT with big (often on pills and/or Testosterone) dudes who are extremely violent.

You have no idea how many time I saw arm being broken, knee being dislocated, rib being cracked, nose being broken etc…

And I’m just talking training here, not even a competition!

I’m constantly surrounded by guys who think that they are at the top of the food chain mostly because they live in a bubble.

The bubble effect

If you are living surrounded by people who like what you like, do what you do and think what you think, you are likely to live in a bubble, and that is where most of the alpha male communities are living in, I would say.

See, I don’t think there is any truth. Humans are way too complex to be put in simple boxes like alpha and beta and stay there forever.

Our society and behaviors evolve really fast and what Darwin portrayed back in the day may not apply to us anymore. Technically speaking women don’t need men anymore to get pregnant.

I don’t think Darwin saw that one coming, for example.

So getting back to the bubble effect, if you surround yourself by other “alphas” inside a community, you’re just gonna get validation of your behavior.

Lots of guys I’ve seen in the “fighting” world are not really smart. They rarely have a purpose outside of hitting another dude for money, and many of them end up physically damaged with very little left in life.

But during those time it was awesome. They fucked lots of girls, got lots of attention and admiration within their bubble, and were never challenged intellectually because everyone else did the same thing.

Now put any of those guys in a middle of a forest and I’m pretty confident they will die in few days, and in a middle of an art exhibition they will embarrass themselves. Which brings me to what I think is a real alpha today.

What’s an alpha to me

Photo by Lachlan Dempsey on Unsplash

As I said before, there will always be alpha males in our society. It’s deep in our chimp DNA and most women will always be attracted to a big solid dude!

Now all that should be nuanced in my opinion.

See, it’s not because you lift 3 hours per day and look like Thor that you are any close to what an alpha should be. In Jiu Jitsu we often say that some people train to look good and some train to kick ass.

That’s a really good analogy. See, I’m not Thor, at almost 40 I’m carrying some love handle that is freaking hard to get rid off by the way, but I’ll kick ass!

Looking good is nice, but to be able to defend your loved ones is to me a much better quality, and it’s even better when you get both ah ah!

I also talked about the forest thing. Well, my point here is how can you consider yourself an alpha male when you could not even survive in a simple freaking forest ah ah. No hunting skills, no building skills, no survival skills, just a good looking dude that eventually will practice a martial art.

Sure you can try to choke out a deer…

When I was kid I used to spend my summers in the countryside building shit with my dad (a retired civil engineer).

We built a house for my grandmother from scratch. I learned to work with wood, electricity etc… That was awesome!

Any time something was broken in the house the first thing we would do was to try to fix it!

On weekends we also hunted with my cousins, so I learned tracking, trapping, killing & gutting (which is fucking disgusting by the way), but in the end of the day I know how to do it.

Drop me in a forest and I’ll know what to do, I’m not gonna die like a dummy.

What should be an alpha (male or female) today in my opinion

So here is a small list of qualities to think about:

  1. Be educated aka read/learn/write (with a pen not your phone)
  2. Be eloquent aka know how to speak properly
  3. Be a gentlemen aka have manners & etiquette
  4. Be multilingual aka speak another language
  5. Be a traveler aka get to know other cultures
  6. Be stoic aka never loose your temper
  7. Be strong physically aka lift weights
  8. Be strong mentally aka acknowledge your flaws and deal with them
  9. Be able to fight/defend yourself aka practice a martial art
  10. Be able to survive aka know bush hand crafting/hunting/survivalism
  11. Be able to dress properly aka rule N.3
  12. Be respectful aka rule N.3
  13. Be honorable aka rule N.3

If you can tick most of those qualities, I do believe that you are a true alpha male. Which you probably don’t care anyway :).


I believe in the idea of alpha in general. I think it is definitely not a “male” thing though. You will find as many good looking self proclaimed alpha among women as among men.

How about my description of the “ideal” alpha?.. Well, that’s another story here.

I think my dad and my grandfather were like that. Well, sure, my dad left my mom during a middle-age life crisis so I guess he doesn’t tick 11 and 12, but it’s still 10 out of 12, not too bad.

Holly crap, that was a long rambling! I guess if you read until this part you probably have an opinion on the subject so let’s hear it! What’s your view on modern alpha males?